The 'Swiss Cheese' Rebuttal

I believe the world is flat, the moon is made out of Swiss cheese, and I am the center of our Universe. I also believe obesity is not a contributing factor to the growing epidemics of heart disease and type-2 diabetes. I know it sounds ridiculous, but the world is actually made out of Swiss cheese, and the moon is as flat as the paper you are reading! At least this is the kind of outdated logical paths that Paul Campos follows in his article, “Being Fat is OK.”

He starts by complaining that “according to the federal government, [he]’s fat” (Campos). Which is apparently impossible considering he runs “[6,000,000] to [7 bazillion] miles per week and [is] in excellent overall health” (Campos). Campos is using a Body Mass Index figure that compares an average person’s height to an acceptable weight level. If a person is outside of the acceptable weight level, that person is considered either overweight or obese depending on whether their weight infraction is a misdemeanor or felony. The obvious, and stated, error with this type of calculation is that most people, excluding Chris Farley’s corpse, are not made completely out of triglycerides (fat cells).

According to the Center for Disease Control’s website, “It is important to remember…that BMI is not a direct measure of body fatness and that BMI is calculated from an individual’s weight which includes both muscle and fat. As a result, some individuals may have a high BMI” (CDC). Could it be that the extra light-years that Mr. Campos has logged on his rock-hard legs have contributed to a higher muscle mass?

Campos, next, uses the age-old tactic of putting the industry responsible for every atrocity committed against mankind, including such works as genocide, supporting communism, and destroying parts of the space-time continuum, in the same queen-size bed as our beloved government. Suffice it to say, Campos presents nothing more than a petty claim in supporting this suspicious supposition. However, for the purpose of being able to undermine the rest of Campos’s claims, we will give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Campos claims that the figures that put the greatest nation ever to grace the planet Earth with its presence, The United States, at the top of the overweight totem pole “are based on a remarkably elaborate series of lies” (Campos). The first being: “fat people are less healthy than thin people because they are fat” (Campos). The author cites the super prestigious New England Journal of Medicine which ambiguously claims that the actual cause of the Swine Flu epidemic was that the moon is made out of Swiss cheese, and the “data linking overweight and death are limited, fragmentary, and often ambiguous” (Campos). Apparently, the editors of the New England Journal of Med icine were referring to something they learned in the popular book, “Doubting Obvious Evidence for Dummies”. This is, again, the inherent problem in “Lie No. 2: We know that fat people would be as healthy as thin people if they lost weight. In the words of the editors of the New England Journal: “We simply do not know whether a person who loses 20 pounds will acquire the same reduced risk as a person who started out 20 pounds lighter .. . some (studies have) even suggested that weight loss increases mortality” (Campos). Due to the overwhelming success of the original argument, Campos decided to keep on referring to the ‘Dummy’ book again.

The third and final lie that Campos presents is that “fat people can choose to be thinner.” He states that “the failure rate for diets is estimated to be between 90 percent and 98 percent” (Campos). The first question in response is: Who says? By what scientific process has Campos deducted that fat people are incapable of becoming, well, not fat?

Finally, Campos ends with “we don’t know the answer to such basic questions as [whether the moon is made out of Swiss cheese, or whether the earth is flat, or, for that matter whether I am the center of our Universe]” (Campos ext.). Sure we do Paul. Can’t you see the ominous, Swiss cheese-looking, holes up there?

Works Cited

Campos, Paul. "Being fat is OK." Judaism: The Jewish site. Web. 29 Jan. 2010. .

"Healthy Weight: Assessing Your Weight: BMI: About Adult BMI | DNPAO | CDC." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web. 29 Jan. 2010. .

Scott Brown, Referendum on American Politics

Earlier this week Scott Brown, from Wrentham Mass., was elected to the United States Senate. This was the first official show of the return of conservatism in a nation overrun with big-spending, morally insecure, slimeballs that have both D's and R's next to their names. Brown ran on traditional conservative policies like lower taxes, less spending, increased national defense, and, more recently, anti-socialistic health reform. But, more importantly, Brown ran as an advocate for real change, as opposed to the feigned platform of former President Barack Obama...(I'm just looking forward to 2012).

When President Obama made 'Real Change' the main tenet of his 2008 campaign, he fed off the growing sentiment that Washington and its actors had given up on doing the right thing for the people of the United States at the expense of their popularity with the media. It wasn't so much that the ever-important independent voter was enchanted with the liberal ideals that President Obama supported, it was that they were disenchanted with the fact that the Republican party had become phantom proponents of big government spending. The independents weren't supporting Barack Obama, they were punishing incumbent Republicans.

Now the tables have turned. Voters didn't get what they were expecting with the new administration and congressional Democratic super-majority. They got a government more focused on the values that they opposed. They got a big dose of self-identification and, with the election of Scott Brown, are expressing their new-found identity. We are a country made up of a middle-right majority. Even in places that are traditionally viewed as blue, when it comes down to it, we all want to be red. We believe in personal responsibility. We believe in helping our neighbors, but we don't need the national government to tell us when and how to help. We are Americans, and Scott Brown is our senator.